Tearing

Sometimes you miss someone so much it hurts.
You could feel the 'tearing'.
It bleeds through your eyes
and every night falls on your pillows.

Pillows
The only witness to tears and cries
Who hears the shouts and screams
Of nightmares turned to reality
Of reality becoming memories

Memories of you and me
Colorful now turned gray
Its hard to learn to love
But harder to unlearn loving you

Loving
You were easy to love
Like each rising of the sun
As definite as the waves

Waves
Of pent up emotions
Anger, sadness and rage
Crashing, washing away the illusion

Illusions
Like the pictures in my head
Of you smiling again
Laughing, loving and whole
A made up you by my side.

- i wish for nights like this to be shorter. I wish for morning to come faster. For the nightmares to stop like the tears in my eyes and the screaming. I'm still getting over the thought that some people are never gonna come back. That what was once a reality has now become a memory. Sometimes you miss someone so much it hurts. I can feel the tearing again.

Pagkaun sa Kalag na Gigutom

Here is my Bisaya Poetry.

Walay lami ang pagkaun nimo kung walay kan-on,
Nganong dili man ing-ana ang sa imong Espiritu intawon?

Dapat murag Pamahaw, Paniudto ug Panihapun ang pulong sa Ginoo,
Ayaw gyud daginuton!

Kay basig tambok ug dako imong lawas,
Gamay ug niwang man diay sa sulod!

Hala pagkaun na sa Kan-on na Iyahang Pulong,
Ayaw Hulat na imong lawas buhi ug kusgan,
Pero imong kalag diay namatay na kay nagut-man.

English Translation:

Food is tasteless and not satisfying without Rice,
Why isn't it like that with our Spiritual Life?

It should be like Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner with the Word of God,
Don't make it thrifty!

For you might be fat and big in body,
But small and petite in the inside no one can see!

Come now eat the rice of His Word,
Don't wait for your body be alive and strong,
But your body has been dead with hunger all along.

Seen and posted: https://angelicamarasigan89.blogspot.com/2016/05/pagkaun-sa-kalag-na-gigutom.html

Tula Para sa Nangungulila

Missing someone(s) right now. So I'll write right now.

Di mo man ako pansinin,
Ibaliwala ang pagsuyo at pagtingin,
Basta huwag mo laging kalimutan,
Ikaw ay nasa aking mga panalangin.

Di kita tatantanan o bibitawan,
Makita ko lang ang inaasam na pagbabago.
Mawala na ang inyong lumang pagkatao,
At maghari ang Buhay ni Kristo!

Ngayong araw, ikaw ay nasa aking mga dasal,
Alam mo man o Hindi,
Ako'y nananabik para sa iyo.
Hanggang sa makita kang muli.

Sa aking harap at sa iyong tabi.

Seen and posted in: https://angelicamarasigan89.blogspot.com/2016/05/tula-sa-nangungulila.html

Ngiti: Sa Hangin

Credits: collab with Pluma't Papel
BTW: wrote this with Jesus in mind. I'll just make it clear. Its raining. I love the rain. The wind. Like love. Esp Gods love. Like a storm. Like the wind. To be looked upon with Love, to be known. By Him alone. But poetry can be subjective. Think what u want.


Nung una mong nasilayan
Ang aking mga mata
Ikaw ay nagulat at namangha.

Dahil di mo akalain na,
Ikaw ay tatawagin
Ng aking lihim na pagtingin.

Nang una mong nakita
Ang aking ngiti
Na para sa iyo lang ikinukubli
Ikaw ay napahinto sandali

Sinuklian mo ang aking ngiti
Na mas tumatamis sa iyong mga labi.

Nung una mong narinig
Na pangalan mo ay sambitin
Ikaw ay nahinto at napailing.

Dahil di mo akalaing
Makikilala at matatandaan
Ang bawat letra ng iyong pgkakilanlan

At unti unting lumapit
Distansya ay tinawid
Ng ating mga tingin at mga ngiti
Na tila ngdadala skin sa langit

Para kang bagyo
Inilipad na palayo
Ang mga alinlangan ko sa kahapon
At pinawi ang kirot ng ngayon

Ngunit lilipas lang ba itong pagtingin?
O madadala ito ng hangin?
Bagyong malakas ang hampas
Sa agilang lumilipad ng mataas.

Maari bang ang hangin ang magdadala
Upang sa ganitoy maipapakita
Na ang kahapon ay may kasalukuyan
At ang bukas patungong walang hanggan.

Kapit Lang

Pag-ibig mong nakamtan
Sa mundong ayaw kang pakawalan
At pinili mong maging masaya
Sa kamay ng iba
Kahit alam mong may kumapit
Pinilit mong bumitaw
At iyong iniwanan
AT ngayoy ikay lito
Pano  mababalik
Ang kahapong sanay maulit
Bagkus ang kahapon ay nakaraan
At Ngayon ay kasalukuyan
-poem not mine. Credits to Pluma't Papel

Unfriend

Don't you worry
I won't bother you anymore with my stories
I'm content with the 4 years worth of memories
But they might stay even how i wish them to fade

Don't worry
I won't bore you with my words
I'm happy with your hand written promises u swore
But never meant to keep.
I'll hold on to them still

Every bit of me
I gave to you
Every piece of you
Was a part of me

But don't you worry
You won't hear from me anymore
Not a beep
Not a word
Like i never came to your life at all
Like the pictures never existed
Like the songs were never played
Like every memory fades
Like the day i saw the words
"Unfriend"

Don't stop

Don't stop.
I know the struggle is real.
I see it in your weary eyes
I feel your tired hands.

Don't stop
I know the race feels unending
I see the sweat on your brow
I feel the tears falling now

Don't stop
Let love be your battlecry
Let the one at the cross decide
Let him live and let you die inside
Fight or flight or forgive
Don't stop. Just please don't stop

Pictures in my head

Pictures in my head
Old faces in another time and self
Trapped in fading photographs
Of old memories in my past

Words written in my heart
Old sentiments of another time and life
Caged in paper and ink
Of old promises of yesteryears

It was a good life
Of a once a upon a time
But I'm ready to turn the page
I'm finally saying farewell

Thank you
For the good times and sleepless nights
Won't forget every tear and smile
Like a movie on replay on my mind

Thank you
For the sweet memories and sad melodies
Won't forget every single part
Like a song on repeat in my heart

But my tomorrow is coming
I've been waisting my today
I'm saying goodbye to yesterday.

My Dear

You should know me by now
This wont just pass me by
No length of space
No amount of time
My dear you know me better
Actually you know me best
My dear dear friend

You should know me by now
You've never been a passing thought
Not just a number
Not just a passing face
My dear you know me better
Actually you know me best
My dear dear best friend.

Shell

I saw you cross the street
One look I knew its you
Same eyes
Same smile
But a shell of someone I used to know

I saw coldness in your eyes
Eyes that once shined so bright
Smile that used to radiate
But now a shadow of your former self

I felt numbness in your embrace
Heart so dead I don't hear a single beat
Only Ere Silence so deafening to my ear
None of the beautiful sonnet you used to be

So I let go of your fragile frame
Saw nothing of the flower I used to be amazed
You had the same eyes
You had the same smile
Even the same name
But a shell of somebody I used to know
A shell so empty and hollow.

Nightmares and Dreams

Have you had a dream where you where in a dream? It feels like I am. I wish it was. But I awake from a nightmare only to realize I am living one. How can you wake up from that one? Tell me because I need to wake up now.

I feel disconnected
Like a part of me just got rejected
I wish I was dead
But maybe a part of me is already buried.

I keep on running. Like i'm running from someone or something. But can I really run away from this? There are days like this day that I am not me. That I stop feeling. Stop caring. Stop breathing. For each breath I take I also feel the pain. Like a knife stabbed on my chest repeatedly.

I wish it was not real. I wish it was a nightmare that I would wake up anytime. But the pain is too real for this to be a dream.

Breathe It In- Original Song Composition

The Song was inspired by 2 Timothy 4:6-7, and wriitten while fighting for air against asthma.
Guitar: Lec
Vocal: John F.B.
Composer: Lec M., and Ivhan E. 

Verse 1
I've been running
Running in the same race
Feels like I'm running
Running in the same place

There are days
I'm just running round and round
With scraped knees
I've fallen to the ground

Tired hands
Tired feet
My heart says stop
I feel so weak
But I'm not giving in
While I'm still breathing

Breathe it in
Breathe it out
Seven times
You go down
Just get back up
Again and again

Pour it out
Lay it down
Be the fighter
Ti'll the final round
Finisher that's full of faith
Just hold on to Jesus
Again and Again

I've been giving
Giving all i can
Feels like I'm giving
Giving from nothing

There are days
Giving it all up
Tear stained eyes
I said I had enough

Take a breather
Take a break
Just dont give up
Dont you give in
Co'z quitters never win

You can listen to the song in this link: https://soundcloud.com/angelica-r-marasigan/breathe-it-in

We Love

Inspired by 1 John 4:18, 19 and 1 John 3:16

(a link to the draft recording of this song: https://soundcloud.com/angelica-r-marasigan/we-love)

I'm at a loss
Trying to count, For the countless times
How much he loves me
From one to infinity

I'm at a loss
Trying to comprehend
How much she loves me
from the letters A to Z

I love you
I love you too
We have this love
For someone first loved us
And that is Jesus

We love love love
Coz He first loved us
I never knew
I could love 
Like I love you

I love love you
Until I knew
He first loved you
We love love love
Coz He first loved us.

I know what real love is
To lay it down like Jesus did
I know what perfect love is
It cast out fear 
It cast out fear

Dedicated to someone someday. 

I don't know if you'll be able to read this, 

but I hope I could sing this to you.

Together we'll say- 

"We love each other because He first loved us." 

- 1 John4:19

Counting Sheeps

https://soundcloud.com/angelica-r-marasigan/up-down
I was tossing and turning,

To the left

To the right

I was losing some sleep

All through the night

I was tossing and turning 

Until the Morning light

I'm missing more just sleep tonight.

Up
down
one by one
counting sheeps
till morning comes

talked to the Shepherd
to find a little peace
coz i'm missing you more till i'm at your side
i'm missing you more and more tonight

Night And Day

https://soundcloud.com/angelica-r-marasigan/night-and-day-original-composition

Aren’t you tired?

You’ve been running in my mind

All day and all the time

You don’t give up

Why don’t you stop

You keep knocking on the door of my heart

I don’t believe what others say,

Coz I’m missing you everyday.

Out of sight

Not out of mind

And I’m thinking about you

Every time, night and day.

I lift you up

And lay me down

On my knees to pray.

I am praying, praying everyday.

Ain’t it right?

It not fair;

Why I miss you everyday.

You’re not here,

We’re miles apart,

Yet you already have my heart,

You have my heart.

Keep the Change

I don't want to be just ok
I don't want to be just the same
I want better than yesterday
I have to keep the change

I don't want the same old story
I don't wanna talk history
I want a better testimony
I've gotta keep the change
Keep on changing me

I've heard it all,
I've heard it time and time again
Getting tired of the same answer
To the same old question
How are you today?
How are you today?

I've seen it all
I've seen it time and time again
Getting tired of the same motion
To the same old notion
Where are you today?
Where are you today?

Even If I have to walk a thousand miles
Even if I have to try a hundred times
Just for me to find that changed life
For this I am sure I'll never be like before
Until Jesus comes My Lord and Savior.